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Originally uploaded by javier chavez loeza

Three years ago it was late in the week. I left work early to go down to my doctor's office. This was after he'd already called me to talk about what my blood test results had revealed. And I'd gone to work for a few days between then and my appointment. I wasn't feeling particularly self-destructive, which I'm glad for considering my own prehistory with that. But I remember, afterward, sitting in my car, you know, in the doctor's office's parking lot, in silence but for the sound of traffic and the sun, looking over these papers, thinking why this had happened. Not how, but why.