Post-Breakup Breakup

Last year during summer, after our first break up, he stopped talking to me. He sent me what I thought was a terribly irrational text and that was that. Just a scant minutes afterward, in West Hollywood, where I was staying for the day, he sent me another saying he'd seen me in the street but didn't want to say hello. He wished me luck or some such. Then, angry, I wrote this.

It would be months later that we finally spoke again. And he apologized for that day, for having this expectation of me, after we were broken up, that I would still do boyfriend-like things. Which, after several conversations with my best friend, I figured was the issue. Whatever. We were good after that.

Now, after the second break up, he and I have not spoken in about a month. I'm not entirely certain why that is, frankly. At this point, like before, I don't really care. Like before, we're broken up, we have about a good week of electronic communication, made plans to see each other and did, and now, after, nothing. Last thing was I sent him a text about how weird it was we hadn't spoken in a couple of days. Now, here I am. I don't even know why I sent him that. Not because I didn't want to talk to him (I did). Then, a week later, this.

Sometimes I wonder why folk bother on dating if, even when things go south, this is where it leads you after a break up. Don't fucking understand.

And I'm thinking about it because Jodi and I were walking through Naples last night and we were talking about dating and friendships and I'm thinking, suddenly perhaps, 'well, what the fuck happened or didn't happen?' Which is very unfortunate for me, of course. I mean, he's a great person to know. But what can I do? I'm not the type to run after the runaway train I must be on. Must be on, not want to be on.

And silly me for telling him that I was going to be irrational for a few days after the breakup.