Malarkey

Earlier, a few hours ago, I'm thinking how much today was, if not informative, a little fun. I like talking about things work-related when I know I've the experience and the plain old intelligence for it (I'm sure we all do, but lots of times people start talking about shit they *think* they understand). So, today was a first day for me, meeting new people, meeting new bosses. But even though I know I can work that type of room very well (it's not charisma, for certain, in any type particular game), I'm thinking about what, not so suddenly has opened up before me, what's coming. What I will be able to do. And as always, it's a matter of choice.

I'm thinking how now that something has begun, options become open, and I'm at my better informed self, the things I want to do and would like to do, these lists don't correspond very often and I was so disappointed that, as I'm thinking earlier, this was exactly that: a point where the two don't meet, want and would like to do.

(That last paragraph is atrocious, isn't it?)

And it was a tweet by photographer/editor/writer/model/style technician, Zoetica Ebb, that made me realize that there are certain things that I can not do anymore. No, not "can not" but "will not" because, certainly, it means a little bit more than I'd like. For two reasons: one, well, I wouldn't do something I normally don't like just 'for fun,' and two, I don't get to do those things anymore.

My vague and not too subtle ass needs to stop typing this malarkey.