Party For The Fight To Write

I'm not very good, but I am.

Corey's been going to a writing workshop for last few Mondays. He's told me after each session how inspired he feels, and how he's amazed by how some folk there use words so well. He himself is pretty good writer (it is, after all, what got me interested in reading him way back when (it was back in 2006! aaah!!)), and so hearing such things from someone who I think is good (I'm being objective, honest!) certainly makes me curious. And jealous!

So, look, Corey tells me about his projects for his workshop and immediately I think about what I would do. I'm very cannibalizing this way. And he's excited about it, and wants to talk about it, all of which, in turn, make me excited and want to talk about it...even though it doesn't pertain at all to me. Years ago, when I lived in Las Vegas, I almost managed to get a writing workshop together. Almost. But what that would've been is a bunch of younger kids who're more creative than me, bounding about Mormonism and indie punk. But since I've been in Long Beach, I've not felt that fire. A few weeks ago, Corey said I could've taken the workshop with him and at the time he told me about it, I didn't even once think to ask him if I should or even could.

I took creative writing twice in college even though I didn't need to take it either time. I studied Language and Linguistics and that's pretty much math with words instead of numbers. But one of the things I took away from both sessions was the feeling of competition. So when Corey tells me about his workshop, I get jealous. Honest. Because I want to do that, compete, because I know I'm good at this. Right?

Last week, Corey got an email from his workshop teacher about a writer's retreat in Los Angeles. Immediately, I wanted to know more about it, but before I could even finish my thought, Corey asked me whether or not I wanted in. He forwarded me the information and on Friday we both sent off our applications and writing samples (last night, we're talking about what could happen if we both are accepted or only one. That's a different sort of post). And I'm very excited by this.

One thing that got me very jazzed is how well I work under pressure. To be honest, I am not a planner, I am not an organizational person at all. So, as we lay on his bed, talking writing (his) and looking over the application, I realized we both only had a couple of days during which we needed to get our work in order. I worked through the night editing this story and getting it to acceptable levels for my entry. And as I'm working on it, I came to the conclusion that my writing is pretty good. That I'm good at it. And I like the story, the way that it's fractured just right, the way it omits things that aren't at all necessary, the way its themes cover a lot of bases, and, plainly, the way the language in it moves.

The other thing that I found very exciting about this process was the fact that I'm in direct competition with other folk for a spot and hopefully a scholarship to the retreat (Corey and I covered briefly that we are, basically, competing for the same spot in the program). I know I'm not the best amateur writer out there, but I've this nagging suspicion that I'm pretty much top 10%. Really. Arrogance notwithstanding, it's that sort of spirit of outdoing the rest. One of things I love about working: I'm pretty much always one of if not the best.

Anyway, Corey says we'll find out whether or not we're in mid-June. That's six weeks away.